I feel that one problem that I have with my paper happens to be the biggest problem that I have, organization. I feel that after the first 2 page paper that I wrote, I tried to hard to just add to that. So my 3-5 page paper was about multiple things, rather then trying to focus on the main point.
Also in high school the longest paper that we wrote was only 5 or 6 pages, so the 7-8 page length is giving me some trouble. I feel that after the first 5 pages I am just repeating what I've already said. I am working on trying to find another source that is relevant to my topic. I have been working on it a lot lately and I think that it is getting better. Hopefully by the time it is due I'll have all of the kinks worked out and it will be an easy transition to the commonplace paper.
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Can you describe in more detail what different ideas you have running through your paper right now? That might help people come up with ways to connect those ideas together or point out what idea seems the strongest/most interesting.
ReplyDeleteWell I started out with the wrong idea about doll house. I think I got that part figured out. But now I have 3 or 4 different ideas... 1. moral issue of dollhouse (should they be running the operation of feeding dolls new memories every 4 or 5 years.)
ReplyDelete2 moral issue of the dolls (should they put their body in danger. Since I believe that dollhouse doesn't have the whole thing figured out, I don't believe the dolls are 100% save.)
***3. moral issue of the customers (the big one)(should they have the ability to go to dollhouse and pay for the dolls. I think that they should have to work harder for this then just be able to go to the "store" and "buy" whoever they want.)
I can relate to this because I have the right idea about my paper, just the process of putting it all together is difficult. Just keep typing away and everything will eventually come together for you.
ReplyDeleteI like your three main ideas. I also like the order that you talk about your main ideas (1, 2, then 3). Each idea can build off the previous with the third idea being able to entail both ideas 1 and 2. If you are able to do this, I think your paper will be more organized
ReplyDeleteI think that if you are having trouble getting the length in, focus for a little bit on developing really great introductory and closing pararaphs. This way you can be sure to present a concise argument, and you are grabbing the writer's attention.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same boat with the length problem. It might seem like grabbing another source will help with the length but you want to watch that you don't drift too far off your thesis or that you don't repeat yourself
ReplyDeleteTry adding a relevant example in your life. Free write more, and don't make everything seem so scripted.
ReplyDeleteMaybe if you try to find another episode of your show that can help you? If you find another one, hopefuly that could get you the next few pages that you need.
ReplyDeleteI think the order of your ideas is great. It's always a good idea to start with the broad topic and then become more and more specific. Using the morality of the Dollhouse customers is a great way to drive home your point that this whole scenario is wrong.
ReplyDeleteI would strongly suggest just looking into further details. Search a little bit harder and you may find your piece of the puzzle.
ReplyDeleteI think that instead of adding mroe details, focus in on the ones you already have, using sources, etc. I always find out that I have mroe ideas about one topic than i thought after explaining it better.
ReplyDeleteI think maybe you're trying a little too hard to tie together ideas that are different. Sometimes it's okay for a paper to have different thoughts, as long as they're persuading the reader in a collective way. In fact, I think that the more differnt your sources are, the more persuasive power your paper has. I'd just make sure that your sources support each other and your thesis. If they do, you should be good to go.
ReplyDeletein response to your problems about length just take things that you are assuming the reader gets and expand on those ideas
ReplyDeleteI think that if you find another secondary source and incorporate it into your paper, you will be able to lengthen it quite a bit. I did that, and I added about 1.5 pages to mine. Give it a shot.
ReplyDeleteIt might be helpful to look at your first couple of papers and see if there's any where that you can add a paragraph or two. This could also allow you to back up your statments more and add lenght to the paper.
ReplyDeleteI think that the best organizational technique is analyzing the episode as you summarize and explain it in the paper. This provides a sequential structure for your reader, and it simplifies your structure and minimizes the chance that you will be redundant.
ReplyDeleteAlso, in order to add length to your paper, you may want to consider reviewing your primary source of searching for new secondary sources. The difficulty you are having lengthening the paper may be due to not having enough evidence to support your thesis.